Diet Mountain Dew, baby.

While the title of this song is random and therefore awesome, we can all agree that Diet Dr. Pepper is a far superior beverage. That being said, this song is awesome. It pretty much describes a day that I would like to see included in my life at some point, minus diet mountain dew, plus dr. pepper. Let it be known that the Dr. and I share initials. This is a pretty awesome coincidence since I often point this out in defence of people suggesting that my initials might also mean something inappropriate. How rude.

It’s also the song that plays in my head on the rare occasion that I find myself sitting shotty in a convertible doing that annoyingly cliché hand wave into the wind. You know the one. To make the aforementioned situation all the rarer, ideally it would transpire in the slowest of motion. “Let’s take Jesus off the dashboard/got enough on his mind”might be the greatest lyric of the song, but it is not the only good one, I assure you. The lyricism of this song sort of slipped through the slits of my listening bits because the hook and chorus are so perfectly catchy that I didn't even think to look further. I like a lot of this bird's songs, actually. This one in particular just has a memorable quality and is always the track I skip to first before listening to the rest of her arsenal straight through. Video Games, her single, is pretty good too, but rather more mellow as seems to be her custom, and by mellow I of course mean sombre since Diet Mountain Dew is mellow yellow, y'all.

But no, Lana, I don’t think you’ll be in love forever. I don’t believe in the validity of two words in that musing: love, and forever. Aren’t I just a treat? Then again, it seems as though she is rather attractive and talented. So, maybe people are into that sort of thing and she'll be fine. However, maybe she'll crumble under the weight of her own giftedness and the expectations that come with it. Maybe she'll get aspartame poisoning from consuming diet soft drinks en masses. Wouldn't that be a bad-ass way for a rock star to go?

I'm such a fucking chick.

But holy shit do I ever love this song. This song makes my heart hurt about being effectively unmarriageable more than any Matthew Mcconaughey romantic comedy, mostly because I wanna be the dudette who gets to sing a sweet duet with a gentleman with whom I am also in lurrve...or at least in prolonged mutual tolerance with. Speaking of Matthews…Ms. Channandler Bong is not the same Matthew Perry(man Jones) as is credited for the male vocals on this track, but I really hope he makes the same terrible picture face.

I think that their voices go so well together and every time they sing in cannon or crescendo their honey-toned voices, a tiny bit of my cynicism dies and is replaced by a slight urge to buy a puppy calendar. This urge never lasts and is either replaced by self-loathing at having been thusly melted or a stronger urge to eat my weight in high-calorie junk food. But in real life, this song actually satisfies a lot of my favourite things about songs whose draw is its melody or lyricism: harmonies, accoustic, bearded musician....All in all, such a win.

Basically, this song is what I think should be playing at every anniversary for couples who make it longer than Brad Pitt and Jennifer Anniston. Not actually. But it definitely should have played during the final scene of The Notebook when the two golden oldies die together in the same bed. Yeah, I’ve also seen The Notebook. In case you weren’t aware, Ryan Gossling is partially naked in portions of it, and were that the case with Jersey Shore or even The Real and Desperate Housewives of Wisteria Lane, I would probably cave and watch those too.